I got up around 3:45am to feed Kieren. Not sure why he didn't sleep through the night. It happens still. I had a total flashback. I was feeding him and rocking in the rocking chair with his bedroom door opened a bit and the soft lighting from the dining area shone through. I felt like Zi was with us. Maybe he was or maybe I just had yet another moment remembering him and the comfort he brought having him around. Zion was just like his mom (me) a worry wart-wanted to make sure all was okay. He would get up most times and come in the room, and even though knowing my arms were filled up with Kieren would lay at my feet for an occasional rub down by my feet on his back. He would see all was fine and return to his bed at the foot of ours. I sat there hoping that in that space where the door was ajar and the light shone enough to see I would be able to see my big Zi walk right in. Part of me knows that is crazy but a part of me thinks that when we think of our loved ones that pass it is because they are truly with us. I almost feel like you get a strange feeling to let you know. Maybe not, maybe just hoping,. but I have felt that way before at passing of my grandmothers. All I know is that however sad not to have him late this morning...there was a peaceful feeling knowing he somehow was still here.